Sometimes

I wish I could touch you and tell you everything is going to be OK. I know that this is so hard but there is so much I want to tell you, so much I want to do for you to make sure you are alright. I can't be there for you every day but I can tell you my heart and tell you to keep strong because what we have is beautiful. We've planted a seed of enormous life and beauty and it's already germinated. It grows stronger every day and soon, someday, it's buds will blossom as well as bear fruit from our struggle. It's not hard to see why everyone is jealous of us but it's not to say that we have it easy. I guess people are jealous cause we actually survive through the bad times and even become stronger. I would be jealous too if I ever met anyone like us. No one is so deserving as us.. I will defend that statement with my life. It's been so hard and so scary sometimes. The thoughts in my head that creep up on me are completely dreadful sometimes. But there are those that bring me joy and so much happiness. These memories we made, I hold them dear to my heart, I can never let go of them because they feel so real when I think about them. They give me those same feelings, that same rush when we were one. I can't say when, I can't say where the next time will be but I can assure you, that there will be a next time. The clouds will part again and allow the sun in. We just have to keep watching the skies. I hope we meet in our dreams.

Total loss

I guess the summer is drawing to a close and the real world is one step closer for me. I can feel the major changes in my life drawing near and there's nothing I can do to stop them. All I have are these memories of the times I spent protected from adult responsibilities. This summer taught me a lot of things and taught me to be strong and be brave. The world is not a safe and sugar-coated place. There are many real dangers , which many of us fail to see but they do exist. I can only hope that they are avoided.

This summer was a test of love, a test of strength and showed me that my life is crazier than I thought and worth living. I leave summer behind ready to take on my destiny and to make sure it happens. I will do what is needed for my happiness as well as hers. I don't know what it'll take but I have to be strong and believe. That's all We have when things are out of our control... belief. I think that things will get better from this point because I have already seen the worst in life and I know what the best things are. I'm not going to give up, I will not settle for second best. I will give every day my all to be the best and to make sure that life remains beautiful.

I hope one day my dreams will come true. I hope one day I can feel the love of my family once again and everything can be perfect again.

I just listened to the new Atreyu album "Lead Sails Paper Anchor" and it's a lot different from what I expected but I guess that's what musical growth is. For many people, they might not see it as anything good and probably will join the masses who will talk shit about the album and probably even the band for choosing the road that they have taken, but let's not forget that they are musicians and have chosen to see how far their talents will take them. Music is about honest self-expression. If this is a display of who they are through their music and not for any other reason, then I'm all for them.

The album is definitely a change but kinda grew on me half way through the album. I guess what gets to me the first half of it is how little of Alex's screaming vocals are heard. I don't have that big of a problem with it, I'm just used to Atreyu as a screaming band... but hey, this is progress, I guess. I can't wait to see them live and perform these songs. I guess the people that truly love them and what they do will be there. Change is good sometimes if it's for the right reasons. Hopefully they will keep growing and their music will touch someone and help them out.
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Now playing: A Skylit Drive - Drown The City
via FoxyTunes

So, yeah

I've fallen for this band... Mayday Parade. These guys are definitely something special. Their sound is not like whiney pop-punk bands such as Boys Like Girls and Cute Is What We Aim For. They've got real talent that stretches past the fashion. I wish the scene wasn't so dressed up in the bullshit, but more relied on the real shit... The stuff that counts inside. But what I would like for the world doesn't change anything. Our scene, sadly, is comprised of people that don't understand it as not just an attitude, not just something personal but something universal. It's not about what you look like but how you carry yourself, whether you are the fan or the musician. It's not about how loud you can scream or how high you can sing, or what your hair looks like or how tight your jeans are. It's about the people in it and the respect. There are all these different parts of our scene that we focus on the differences and forget about the similarities. We forget about the love, the hard work and the talent that is needed to fuel it... and not to forget the creativity and the uniqueness of our scene. It's about being the best you that you can be. That's what I see it as.

There are a lot of things in this world we would like to change, but change is not always easy.

I just applied and got accepted into the Metropolitan College of New York City. I really hope that I can truly feel at home here. I really like it so far and everything is big and fresh

Tomorrow I've got to start working at the American Cancer Society at noon. We shall see what happens after that.